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You know you're in love when at those times you're not together, you find yourself gazing at the sky in the direction where he is and feeling some peace in knowing that you live under the same sky...



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Stigmatized



If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you

[Chorus:]
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized

I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray

[Chorus]

We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized

We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way

I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
If we're stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides

We gotta live our lives
Gotta live our lives
Were gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives,
Stigmatized


Music Video

*Our Lives
*Things Will Go My Way
*Anything
*Stigmatized
*Adrienne
*Wherever You Will Go
*Could It Be Any Harder
*For You


Movie Video

*Chrono Cross
*Final Fantasy X
*Kingdom Hearts
*Wild Arms


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the calling



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Pinky Steph



happy birthday *StEpHaNie aNnE* !!!

Know who's my fave model?
StEpHaNie!

Have you seen the prettiest igorot?


pa-charming na dalaga sa bintana!


cute smile huh!


That's my girl, my angel, our princess....

Maligayang kaarawan baby!



| "Pinky Steph" dream at 11:04 PM on Tuesday, August 29, 2006



Odds?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle?
Why do you still call it a building when it's already built?If it's true that we are here to help others, what are others here for?
If you aren't supposed to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
(got this message form manong METAL
http://metal_ears.blogspot.com)


Clever are they who comprehend allegory, adroit in putting simple words together but impart great insights to the readers.

*****

It was quite noticeable that children in this generation know how to manipulate their parents by returning the favors and worst, the lectures they convey.

I treasured those uproarious memoirs when my momma used to clout me because i'm a dim-witted, hard headed learner. I had a complex time reading those lines of my first textbook in Grade I "A Big Fat Hen". I remember her say, "Learn to read, kabisote!" Then after a year of practicing my reading skills, you'll hear her sermon at night, "Hoy Gurl magbasa ka nga para matuto ka"
Yeah rayt! parang gulong ang buhay, Learn to Read then Read to Learn.


*****

It was past twelve last night when my sis came home. quite late huh! ohh owww...guess not.
"San na naman ako nanggaling? umaga na ah" Just before my mother delivers her line, Dhotskie do the favor. Pasaway! peculiaritie of oldies are really hard to understand din kasi. When you come home early they'd be surprised, sasabihin ba't maaga ka'ng umuwi? tas pag inumaga ka ng uwi magagalit din sabihin sa'yo, magtatanong ba't umuwi ka pa? San mo nga naman lalagay sarili mo?

It's kinda confusing kung bakit magulang ang tagalog ng parents eh. I remember my conversation with one of my classmates way back in college. Anne's complaining 'bout the argument she and her mama had when we came home late one night. My friend's mother was suspecting her of having a boyfriend. "Baka naman ikaw kaya ka ginagabi e may boyfriend ka na, ang bata bata mo pa." E palasagot din yung bruha'ng yun "Wala no. Si mama napapaparanoid na naman. Ma, gutom na 'ko hain ka na" E biglang nagkamali ng isasagot si tita, "hay naku! ang tanda tanda mo na magsandok ka na dun."

Eto pa, when i was about 10 years old, I used to sit on the floor with my feet placed across the dining area. Suddenly, biglang daan si daddy ko na may dalang isang tasa ng kape. Unluckily, sa kanya bumuhos yung mainit na kape kaya halos umusok tenga nya sa galit sa'kin. That same day while he was busy fixing our Karaoke, I accidentally tumbled off the floor because of his feet and unnecessary knick knacks on the ground. What's cruel is his statement (exagg!) not the fall, " Ba't di mo kasi tinitingnan dinadaanan mo? alam mo na ngang may tao eh" Ano raw?

Mas madalas ganyan talaga magulang. Oopps.. aaminin ko may mga pagkakataong hinihingi ng kapilyuhan ang maging 'magulang' sa mga anak ko hekhek. patawad po...nyaiiii! magiging magulang din kayo.

Odd tales passed from one generation to another. Mababaw man o hindi, may matutunan ka man o wala, nagdudulot pa rin ito ng munting ngiti sa mga labi natin. Ang buhay ay puno ng di maipaliwanag na katatawanan. Let me share to you one of my fave txt messages ngayong Linggo na ito:

School> A place where papa pays and son plays.
Life insurance> A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.
Nurse> A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage> A contract in which a boy loses his bachelor s degree and girl gets her master s degree.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 8:14 PM on Monday, August 07, 2006



An Outlet

PORTRAYAL

A marvel it is to be a part of you.
Experience the warmth under the sky so blue.
Feign to be surrounded with flowers and birds.
Feel free to escape from the erroneous world.

Mountains so proud persuade me to perceive her.
The greenish pasture makes my tears wither.
The sweetest zephyr blows the ire and qualms.
Bliss allays the melancholic realms.

The sun that shines envisions tranquility.
The rays that burst imprison brutality.
You are my guide in facing reality.
The beam you share shove me to destiny.

The deep ocean expresses innate strangeness.
Its silence conceals danger and stubbornness.
The stillness of waves convoy me to ending
Where I can find pleasure, pursued on winning.

At the end of my cruising is an island.
Freedom to express myself is in my hand.
An aspiration for harmony arrives.
The nature responds profoundly in our lives.

****OO****


I've attended a seminar last Friday; topics concerning cognitive disabilities have been discussed. An afternoon of songs, dance and theatrical exercises justified that art is a great form of therapy. Our resource speaker is an experienced Psychiatrist with a Masteral degree in Special Education. After a long day of informative workshop, we were instructed to draw anything we wanted in a piece of paper. Five minutes of reflection and sketching was given. He/she (he is a gay) started to interpret illustrations of all the participants. My work caught one of the resource speakers attentions. Sir Rodel asked the audience who owned the drawing. When I finally raised my hand despite of anxiety and perspiration that started running through my body, he spoke in low voice, bakit ano ang problema? Madami kang depression. Gusto mo ring mag-travel? I got amazed. I thought that colorful pictures would cover up my frustrations in life. It is not that I intended using almost all the 16 colors to suppress the pain, I was thinking of refreshing scenery that time, unaware that a peaceful setting would suggest yearning for silence. My subconscious mind worked. I felt confused. A part of me insisted that I was feeling well while the other kept on revealing the inner me.

I am a mother of two wonderful creations, our angels.


My better half is a responsible father, a loving partner.


So what seems to be the problem? Where did those stresses and depressions come from? Nobody knows. I myself don't know. But I can feel the pain, inside me is a weeping heart.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 7:28 PM on Tuesday, July 25, 2006



Sa Parola

Umalingawngaw ang batingaw hudyat ng pag-iisang dibdib
Umilap ang mga matang kanina'y nagmamasid sa liblib.
Dumaloy ang luhang matagal ng pilit na kumukunyapit.
Pumailanlang ang hagulgol na kung ilang beses ng inipit.

Hakbang papalayo ang tangi kong nagawa.
Takbo, lakad, hikbi, isip ko ay balisa.
Dasgundong ng kulog, puso ko ay binulabog.
Nang ambon ay nahulog, poot ay sumabog.

Sa tuktok ng Parola ginunamgunam iyong kataksilan.
Pagtalimuang sa katotohanan, sya bang tanging paraan?
Sa bawat patak ng ulan ay pait na pinangangambahan.
Umilandang sa hangin ang anumang ugnayang namagitan.

Sumpa bang matatangi ang pintig sa 'king tyan?
Pa'nong isisilang ang batang dinungisan.
Bago pa iluwal iyo ng binawalan.
Ano pa'ng dahilan ng di namin paglisan?

Hampas ng alon sa dalampaigan ang tangi naming saksi.
Lingid sa tahimik na kalawakan nang-akit ng maliksi.
Ang pangakong kapanatagan hinain ng 'yong kagandahan.
Isang talon palapit sa'yo, mundong ito'y aming iiwan.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 6:41 PM on Tuesday, July 18, 2006



Extension ng Bulletin Board

Nagkasakit nga ako kaya drained.
Yung pumapasok nga ako sa work wala akong maikwento yung nakaratay pa kya sa kama...nyay!
Since pumasok na ko ngayon..kopya ko ng maipo-post sa BB.
Yan ah..dal loves kita..oo ikaw na nagbabasa, hinanapan kita ng ikaliligaya..
minsan di masama maging korni..
tangkilikin ang malikhaing pagsasalin ng..

MGA KASABIHANG BINAGO NG PANAHON... :D

* Ang nagigipit, sa bumbay kumakapit.
* Kapag may isinuksok at walang nadukot, may nandukot.
* Ang buhay ay parang bato, It's Hard!
* An apple a day..is too expensive.
* An apple a day, makes seven apples a week.
* An apple a day cannot be an orange a day.
* Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw minsan nasa vulcanizing shop.
* Pag may isinuksok, may ipuputok. (Parang bastos?)
* Pag may isinuksok, isuksok mo pa..HARDER!
* Ako ang nagsaing, iba ang kumain..Diet ako eh!
* Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago..utang na loob.
* Pag may tyaga..good luck!
* Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan, may stiff neck daw.
* Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa din.
* To err is human, to errs is humans.
* Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa din.
* Ang sakit ng kalingkingan kailangan ng Alaxan.
* Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
* Better late than pregnant..promise!
* Aanhin pa ang damo kung bato na ang uso?
* Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, 'wag lang sa lasing na bagong gising. ok?

Puro kalokohan ang pinoy no? eto pa mga pasaway na text messages share ko din.

*Wife: Hon, kain na I'm ready.
Husband: Busog pa ko eh.
Wife: Hindi fud, ibig ko sabihin yung akin.
Husband: kaya nga busog pa ko. Bday kasi nung secretary ko nagpakain din sya.

*P: Manong bayad
D: San galing?
P: s Bulsa ko.
D: Hinde. san sumakay?
P: E di sa jeep nyo.
D: (loko to bigyan ko nga ng kulang na sukli)
P: Manong kulang, magkano ba Quiapo?
D: bat bibilhin mo?

*New appointed Muslims in Gov't:
FINANCE: Abu Nadu
JUSTICE: Abu Gadu
PNP: Abu Sadu
AFP: Abu Ridu
DSWD: Abu loy
AGRI: Abu Kadu
HEALTH: Abu Lariu
CUSTOMS: Abu Tan

*Dba ang PLDT may TELESULIT at
TELETIPID? Pag-aari din kaya nila ang TELETUBBIES?
kasi nakapangalan sa kanila eh.
P-PO
L-LALA
D-DIPSY
T-TINKY WINKY
dba may point ako?

*for toothpaste commercial they show teeth
for facial soap they show the face
pero bakit sa feminine wash walang pinapakita?
Unfair daba?

Pag dating sa kalokohan galing ng mga pinoy no?
The best! kung lahat sana ng galing e binubuhos sa matinong bagay e di sana...nakasimangot ka ngayon..
yaan mo na.. sabi nga laughter is the best medicine. yun nga lang minsan out of stock din o kaya generic lang ang available..malas mo pag sinabi pa sayo..kelangan ng prescription...pakamatay ka na lang. biruin mo tatawa ka na lang hahanapan ka pang papel.

hala cge byebye...walang kawenta wenta to...

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 5:52 PM on Monday, July 10, 2006



pampalamig

ShArE ko muna tong naka post sa bulletin board sa work.

Subject: ENHANCE YOUR ENGLISH-PILIPINO DICTIONARY

1) Contemplate- kulang ang mga pinggan
2) Punctuation- pera para maka-enrol
3) Ice Buko- nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
4) Tenacious- sapatos na pang tennis
5) Calculator- tawagan kita mamaya
6) Devastation- sakayan ng bus
7) Protestant- tindahan ng prutas
8) Statue- Ikaw ba yan?
9) Tissue- Ikaw nga!
10) Predicate- Pakawalan mo ang pusa
11) Dedicate- Pinatay ang pusa
12) Aspect- Pandurog ng yelo
13) Deduct- ang pato
14) Defeat- ang paa (ng pato?)
15) Detail- Ang buntot (ng pato?)
16) Deposit- Gripo (call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
17) City- BAgo mag utso; A number to follow 8
18) Cattle- doon nakatila ang hali at leyna
19) Persuading- Unang kasal
20) depress- Ang g nagkasal sa PERSUADING
21) Defense- Ginamit na mga pansulat sa kontrata ng PERSUADING
22) It Depends- kainin mo ang bakod
23) Shampoo- bago mag-labing-isha(11)
24) Delusion?- maluwang( kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION )
25) Profit- Patunayan mo
26) Balance Sheet- What comes out after eating a balance diet
27) Backlog- bacon at itlog (samahan mo sinangag para nyarap!)
28) Beehive- magpakatino ka
29) CD_ROM- tingnan mo ang kwarto
30) Debug- ang ipis
31) Defrag- ang palaka
32) Defense- ang bakod
34) Defer- Ang balahibo
35) Deflate- ang plato
36) Detest- ang eksamin
37) devalue- susunod sa letrang V
38) Devote- ang boto
39) Dillema- brownout ha!
40) Effort- 'dun landing efflane

hala! as usual, kinakatam ako gumawa ng entry. dapat ata mejo senti ako para makabuo ng tula. wala din naman sense kung mag popost ako ng kwento ng buhay ko since routine nga lang ang nangyayari. kung ano ginawa ko kahapon e sya lang din ginagawa ko ngayon at gagawin ko bukas. nagkakaroon lang ng changes ang mga pangyayari sa araw-araw kung halimbawang nadapa ako pagpasok, natalsikan ng tubig ng kalye mula sa nagdaang bus damit ko at kelangan ko pang umuwi ulit ng bahay para magpalit. Kung siguro paggising ko e mamulatan ko na nakulot ang kilay ko..nyaikks! tumbling talaga ko nun malamang di ako papasok sa trabaho..may bago! E halimbawa kayang makasalubong ko yung umagaw ng mobile ko nung december ( di pa din makalimutan) panigurado paliliparin ko sya..e kung nanlaban tas pumorma ng saksak? ugok nya e di tsinugi ko sya. yun! syempre presinto dala sakin. aba! pag nakulong ako may bago! >toinkss!<>
Sinungaling pala ko hhihihi...may mga nagbago pala sa pang-araw araw na tagpo ng buhay ko isang linggo na nakakaraan. Nung june 26 kasi dumating pala si kuya from abu dabhi. Medyo bonding kaming magkakapatid. Dun na kasi naka base yun with his family. Chef sya sa emirates palace hotel. madalas nga naka-feature yun sa mags dun. Pinakamasarap sa lahat...pasalubong!
pasalubong nya sa dalawang sis ko fone. Syempre tinanong na sila kung ano gusto nila bago pa lumipad pauwi dito. ako? hinde! nakakahinampo..oo. tatlo yata kami tas ako deadma..hay! pero sabi ko, natural may asawa na ko at iisipin ni kuya na mabibili din ni teban yun dun. pero kahit naaaaa....iba yung bigay ng kapatid sa bigay ng asawa.
e di eto na...ako na tumatayong panganay sa magkakapatid mula nung nag-asawa ko. Sakin nya binilin lahat, mula sa pagsundo, pagkaing nakahain pagdating nya, higaan nya, atbp. tawag ng tawag..di pa din tinanong kung ano gusto ko...manhid!
Share ko na lang din, di pala kami nagkita sa airport, mali sya ng nilabasan, todo bantay pa kami sa m-z dahil p start family name nya tas after 3 hours na wala ng bakas na may lumapas na 'plano from abu dabhi medyo panic na ko. nagtanong na kami sa mga tao dun. sabi ng taxi dispatcher may naghihitay nga daw na mataba'ng lalaki na kain ng kain hehehe. nawala daw kasi nung lalaki yung sim nya sa plane kaya di nya na natawagan mga kapatid nya. binggo!
kita na lang kami sa bahay...PAgpasok ng pinto..sinalubong ako ng tatlong kahon...para sakin daw yun. ehem! sama ng ugali ko'ng pag-isipan kuya ko na di na ko loves...meron din pala ako...at bongga! pasalubong nya sa'kin? home theatre na may built-in na videoke..30,000 songs. may 2 pa'ng wireless mic. hinihintay nilang lahat reaction ko...fin'lly, nagsalita din ako..pero flat face..akin yan? ahhh. yan lang? wehehehehe..ipokrita...syempre naiyak ako no...weeehhhh!!!! at least, alam nya pa ding addict ako sa mic.
hala naligaw na tayo...sa bago pala'ng pangyayari sa buhay ko..una, madalas 2-3am na kami natutulog kakakanta at kakakwentuhan. tas pag-uwian magkikita na kami sa sm. tas may inuman blues pa...tinatamad kasi ako mag-upload ng pics eh. last nyt pala 2 bote ng vodka naubos namin..may natira pa'ng isa dun ubusin namin mamaya. bago ko matulog nagkakakanta na ko syempre. at kasama ng ingay na nagmumula sa mic ang bato'ng tumatama sa bubong namin at ang sigaw ng kapitbahay na nabulabog sa ingay ng boses ko...waaahhh. ano pa kasunod e di baranggayan hahaha...Exagg! la lang...la pa ding bago. gang sa muli.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 2:43 PM on Tuesday, July 04, 2006



bonne foi

*the road of life is made smoother when traveled with someone we love*

we used to welcome the crack of dawn, sniffed the whiff of fog in the log.
doggedly faced the globe in concert, inspired the spring to bloom in zoom.
we constantly shared the stroke of luck, grappled the apple that binds our minds.
staunchly traveled the journey of life, requested for quest that lights the heights.

but when the kismet meet it's ending, the trees will finally stops bending.
like the dimming of the candlelight, the twinkling of stars will soon subside.
alike the rain that's starting to pour, the summer will be ending it's tour.
up close to winning the clash of gold, you'll end up loosening strength to hold.

but with God's help i'll be brave for you, even clanking them all for us two.
a flock of mem'ries will be my guide; our vows that love won't be kept aside.
the view of lovers in fields of green, a darling in you that's what i've seen.
just wait for me as i cruise the sea, beneath the shore is silence you'll see.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 6:27 PM on Thursday, June 29, 2006



AnGeLs NaMiN


Been busy nung mga nakakaraang araw..nanibago 'ko sa sked eh. si kuya mark, masipag pumasok ngayon. nagustuhan sya ng adviser nya kaya pinapunta sya sa harapan tas sabi daw sa buong klase sana lahat ng estudyante kasing bango at kasing bait nya. wow! anak ko yun hehe. tas ngayon madami ng may gusto'ng teacher sa kanya. aba! di lang gwapito bebe ko, matalino po kaya yan..asa ka pa e nanay ako hehe. Elected din sya as escort. malaking gastusan yun pagdating ng foundation day.

Si Steph naman (YEAH RAYT! kaya pinkysteph blog ko) dahil nga nagkasakit sya last week madami na sya absent. sana makasali ulit sya sa top 10 ng level nila.

Wish ko lang makakuha sana sila ng matataas na
grado.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 10:31 AM on Tuesday, June 20, 2006



life oh life

Life oh life!

With unexplained catastrophes happening, for all the unending dilemmas, sino di mag-eexpect na matino pa katabi mo?Everyone is complaining! Syempre kasama na ko dun.
Nakakabingi na nga eh. Kahit na ano ang pag-uusap, simulan mo ng positibo sa bandang huli bagsak pa din sa problema. Kung tutuusin napakadaming malalim na bagay na mas nangangailangan ng pansin pero pinagsasawalang bahala, kung ano yung walang kwenta yun ang big deal. Eto ilan sa mga narinig ko sa nakalipas na dalawang araw. I jotted it down for blogging purposes hehehe.

Sa jeep nung pauwi na ko:
*Anu ba yan umuulan na naman? Dapat sa gabi umuulan hindi yung ganitong uwian na. Yung mga estudyante mababasa.hmmp! (o diba? Tama ba namang kalabanin ang nature? War freak!)

Sa canteen nung breakfast:
*Ham and egg na naman almusal? Nakakasawa na ah sana magluto naman kayo ng iba. (ako nga pandesal lang eh tsaka kape)

Sa Comfort Room:
*Nakakainis may pimples ako.
*Ako din badtrip masyado ko na-tan nung summer. Damn that sun! di tuloy bagay sakin yung yellow na blouse ko.

syempre ako din may reklamo papatalo ba naman ako hehe
*tingnan mo sila oh, 2 cups ng rice tas mga walang bilbil bat ako half rice lang lumalapad ako? Unfair to daba?

Sa mall:
*Miss, may ganitong pagka green kayo ng bag?
wala? E pano ko magagamit tong sandals na bibilhin ko?
(e di wag nyang bilhin problema ba yun? o kaya bigay nya sakin ako may bag na ganun weeh)

ang babaw diba? E sila na ganito ang kalagayan?

*mga batang nagtitinda ng sampaguita para may makain kahit dis-oras na ng gabi.
*ung gwardya ng monumento ni Jose Rizal sa lunetang inabot na ng araw at ulan di pa rin tumitinag.
*Mga estudyanteng pumasok sa skul ng walang baon/ manggagawang ang tanging laman ng bulsa e pamasahe.
*Mga babaeng iniwan ng asawa.
*Pamilyang nasunugan, nanakawan, binaha.

Mas may karapatan silang magcomplain diba? Pero ang di nila alam, maS maswerte pa din sila kumpara sa iba..kumpara sa kanila:


Nilagay ko lang baka makabawas sa pasanin mo. Sayo na nagbabasa nito. OO, hindi tayo nakikipagpabigatan ng problema sa iba. Siguro nga mas mabigat pasanin ng iba sa buhay kumpara sa tin. For all I care! Sabi ko pa nga. Pero come to think of it, there are so many things to thank for. Depende daw sa tao kung pano nya haharapin problema nya e. May iba kasi na nasa harapan na solusyon pero sarado na isip nila. Yung iba naman, nakadepende sa lakas ng iba kaya di makadiskarte ng sarili nila. May mga tao din na minamadali yung sagot sa mga hiniling nila, yung tipong nagdasal kanina tas gusto paglabas ng simbahan eh may grasya na. pag walang nasalubong na swerte sa pinto feeling nila pinabayaan na. haller! actually di sya maaayos kundi ikaw mismong sangkot ang gagawa ng paraan. yakapin mo daw ng may ngiti problema mo at mareresolbahan mo yun ng magaan. Parang taong nakasalubong ang problema, simangutan mo, iismiran ka with matching tsee pa at hmmp. Subukan mo ngitian sabay hi! may ganting ngiti din sayo at tapik. kung sa jeep, lilibre ka pa ng pamasahe. Paglampas ng nakasalubong mo magaan sa pakiramdam. Sabi nga parang gulong ang buhay, di laging nasa ilalim ka..not unless..flat wheels mo. Alay goodluck! Hehehe. Hope itll help. Sabagay, every person is unique sabi lang ulit. Anuman paraan mo gustong lampasan problema mo, suportahan taka.


| "Pinky Steph" dream at 10:19 AM on



BIG BAD TRIP

wala lang naburaot lang ako kahapon...as in. Inabot ng kamalasan.
una> 2 fone ko na ang ni-set ko ang alarm pero di ako nagising. kinalabit na lang ako ni daddy ko 5:15 na. Malelate na kami ni kuya. waaah

pangalawa> sa sobrang pagmamadali di ko napansin na kiwi'ng black pala nadampot ko at nai-apply sa brown boots ko..dumilim tuloy itsura. kainis!

pangatlo> ang saya ng lakad namin ni kuya so kala ko nilubayan na ko ni jinx..."kuya, mukhang 'la pang masyadong pumasok ah. first day kasi.(wala kaming kasabay na naglalakad papasok) ".pero laking gulat ko nung magmistulang Parking Area ng SM (exagg!) harap ng Siena College. sinalubong kami ng dalawang COCC."Ma'am ako na po magdadala ng bag nya.". "hindi ok lang ako na. Hanapin ko pa din classroom nya".
Ngumiti na yung babae'ng CO.."E ma'am ok lang po ba kunin ko yung name nya(nag-alangang sabihin kung bakit. kinagat pa labi) Late na po kasi kayo. Ang sama ng tingin sa'kin ni kuya. wehehe. Sori. Tagal mag make-up ni mama.

ikaapat> Dahil nga badtrip na, syempre nakasimangot na ko'ng nag-abang ng sasakyan. Late na ko pero walang FX. Pagsakay ko ng jeep ng nakasimangot pa din, kinalabit ako nung classmate ko nung high school. ako naman si loka nabawasan init ng ulo..ngumiti ng todo sabay "UUYY! musta na?". bigla ba naman akong banatan na.."K lang. nag-asawa ka na no? ang taba mo eh!!!!!! nagmukha talagang kinoronahan ako ng exclamation point.

ikalima> nilibre ko pa din sya ng pamasahe kahit inalipusta nya 'ko. kaso, nung hinihingi ko na yung sukli ko pag baba nung ggrrrr-classmate ko ng SM, sabi ng driver 50 lang daw pera ko. 100 kaya binayad ko. pagtingin ko sa katabi ko na pinakiabutan ko ng bayad, tulog. Punyeta! ininsist ko talaga na 100 binigay ko. ugok nya. nakita naman nya yung pera sa kaha nya at walang 50 peso bill dun kaya nagbigay din sya sukli.

ikaanim> kung sa school na-late kami..natural late din ako sa trabaho. kaasar!

ikapito> punta dapat ako sa lamay ng tatay ng friend ko kaso masama pakiramdam ko. tas tumawag sya sa'kin tinatanong kung ba't di ako makakapunta. wala lang. badtrip kasi nakakahiya. kung may mga tao'ng dapat nasa tabi nya sa ganung mga pagkakataon dapat kami yun..kaso..sorry!

ikawalo> ganda na ng upo ko sa harap ng computer nabuksan ko na nga blog ko e..habang nagbabayad ako sa kulang na oras ko sana nung umaga (corrupt). tas nag toot toot fone ko. nagtxt si daddy ko umuwi daw ako ng maaga dahil namimilipit sa sakit ng tyan si bunso. di ko alam kung ano una kong dadamputin. tas nagtraffic pa on my way home. kaasar naman kasi kung bakit kung kelan pasukan tsaka sila nagtatastas ng kalsada. umulan pa. feeling ko talaga matatae na 'ko sa sasakyan sa paghila ng oras. naka dalawang tawag na ko sa bahay. nung kausap ko na si bunso sa fone, iniyakan ako..hay! naiiyak na tuloy lalo ako. kung kelan ko sya sinasabihan na konting tiis malapit na si mama..naubusan pa ko ng load.

ikasiyam> sabi ng doctor parang ulcer sakit nya. di ko kasi ma-recall yung tawag. basta may____tis. kinuhanan sya ng dugo e ok naman results. so kung di sya magsusuka talagang sikmura ang dahilan ng sakit na nararamdaman nya. namumuti na labi ng bebe ko sa sakit. di nagreseta ng dalawang gamot. almost 9pm na yun eh.out oif stock sa mercury drug malapit sa hospital so punta kami sa SM.WALA! 2 watsons dun parehong wala. sakay kami papunta robinsons pero wala din. buti, kinita kami ni ate sa robinsons. diretso kami Nova kasi may dalawang Mercury Drug pa dun at madaming maliliit na drugstore..Unfortunately, WALAAAAAA.
inabot na kami ng 11. tinawagan ko yung doctor using my other fone na may load pa para humingi ng alternatives..sabi ng secretary may pasyente. so ubos ang load ko dahil nagpaantay pa sana ng ilang minuto.

ikasampu> naghanap ako ng pay phone para tumawag ulit sa ospital. may isang burger hauz pa na bukas. kaso may gumagamit ng fone. naghintay ako ng mga 10 mins tas narinig ko nagpapaalam na sya sa kausap nya. pero puny3T@!! lumipas na 20 minutos di pa rin nya binibitawan fone. galit na yung bantay napaka insensitive nya pa din. until finally binitiwan nya at ngumiti sa'kin. grr. nakatulog na anak ko telebabad pa sya tas nakuha pa'ng ngumiti. nung nakausap ko si doc, ang ganda ng bungad sakin. "Misis, ang hirap po'n hanapin no? sabay tawa". kung di lang mabait talaga sya sa'min at matagal na din sya'ng doktor ng pamilya mumurahin ko e. tas pinalitan nya yung reseta.

nakauwi kami almost 12 na. nilibre kami ni ate ng pizza. tas meron pa pala..Si papa, galit nagalit sa'kin dal di daw ako nagttxt nag-aalala na sya. e dami ko na kaya'ng txt sa kanya. alam ko namang nag-aalala sya kasi may sakit yung prinsesita nya. kaso yung magalit pa sya na pagod na pagod ako...haaayy! hehe...patay ako pag nabasa nya 'to.

tas ngayon absent ulit ako. binabantayan ko sana si bunso kanina sa school kasi sinusumpong pa din ng sakit kaso pinaalis ako ng guard. hmmmp! bawal na daw. k fine. dumaan lang ako sa cafe para mag update. hopefully in two months time may internet connection na kami..naluluma na lang PC na di nagamit ng matino.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 2:09 PM on Wednesday, June 14, 2006



one side of me

I dredge for love, and it's you that I perceived
I prayed for a friend, been blessed, it's you that I received.
With incessant hellos, we granted eccentricity a chance.
With burly warmth, we subsisted to endure the distance.
We mutually embraced the clemency of life.
We faced each challenge until we are both hackneyed.
But you ve been blind to see forever as trenchant as my teardrops
That you ve been kind not to declare that your love will soon stop.
And so I find myself imagining your face in the sky
And that s how our story ended dreadfully. Goodbye.

Say goodbye, say hello
To a lover or friend
Sometimes we never could understand
Why good things begin then just end
We can really never have it all, no, no, no

-fave ko na lines sa rainbow. very realistic.-

tas yung tula sa taas.. la lang. basta pendot pendot lang sa keys tas ayan.


| "Pinky Steph" dream at 9:08 PM on Friday, June 09, 2006



- i b i n a l i k -

Txtmate I

(ang makatapos romantic)

11:55 pm.

Quick bath.

Beauty regimens.

Alarm clock set.

Signed off.

Familiar setting.

Dejavu??? Sort a!

EiiH! Reminiscin?

Ganito kasi yun wento ko na lang

Brt brt vibrate fone ko

Rolling eyes, taas kilay sabay tanong Sino na naman to?

1 message received. Read.

[di mn kta nkkta, d mn kta mkausp, d mn kta nkksm, tandaan mo

miz na kta, miz n kta, miz n tlga kta]

duh sino sya? Kakaintriga huh! Reply ko nga wahahah.

[nkkbdtrp mga quots,mnsn kht 22o iicpn mo 4wrd lng,kht 4wrd lng iicpn mo 22o.pno kung sbhn ko sau miz n dn kta,icpn mo b 4wrd lng kht 22o?] send.

Dyan, dyan sa pasaway na palitan ng messages na yan pansamantalang nagkakulay mundo ko . From simple greetings [hi! Morning :D] rereply naman ako [morning din! God Blez!]

Tas sumunod [musta? Ingat ka ha..miz u] na up-grade pa after[hey! Dnt skip meal ha. Tc. Mwahh] o diba pasaway? Jologs diba? Pero believe me nakakatuwa. Heaven!

Until one Monday mornin. antok man I forced myself na pumasok.

No breakfast, skipped lunch then around 2 may nag toot toot.silent ko nga…aba maya-maya,brt brt naman hala ang kulet. open ko na papansin eh. 4 messages received. Read.

[gulat k kc ngtxt ako? L lng miz lng kta.ac2uali 2 icp p nga ako e kso naicp ko kung d kta txt my pg-asa kya maalala mo ko?] magtampo ba? [mnsn gus2 ntng sbhing msy tau pro ano mn plit nting mging msy hhnpn p dn 1ng bagy n nagppsya sten ewn ko kung nu sayo skn kc IKAW!] ano raw? [kala ko spat n yung naaalala kta, n alm ko’ng kaibgan kta,d pla un spat,dpat pla nagta2nong dn ako,msya k b?musta k n? xenxa k n kung mnsan d me ganun pero kc mahal kita FRIEND] ah ok friend lang naman pala malisyosa lang ako. [lam ko makulit ako,lgi n lng cnasabi oy! Musta n? lging nagbi2lin ingat k at puro I care xenxa n.sbhn n lng ntin pcmple lng un pra mprating sayo na mahal kita]

napatanga daw ako. Uy! Iba na to. Though it was obvious, still, shocking! OK! You’re not gonna waste your time, money and effort texting someone if that person is not that special huh! Now what? E di reply [mnsn d spat n mhal mo lng 1 tao at lam mo n mhlg k pra s knya kc bgo ang lhat,dapat alm mo pnagkaiba ng MAHAL sa MAHALaga lang.] send.

[wat d u mean?]

[meant wid wat?]

[ahhh never mind 4wrded msg?]

[kinda! Hey wat yah doin?]

tas tumawag ka

G: ei waz up?

B: uhmmm la namn. m kinda mizin u kc

----buntong hininga lang----

G: uhmmm kumain ka na?

B: yups. How bout you?

G: eer yeah kanina pa (liar!)

B: ehem??!!

G: hahaha problem?

B: la lang. r u busy?

G: medyo. tas listenin’ to my fave song as usual

B: wherever you are??

G: uy kilala nya na ko

B: oo nmn. o cge na po baka naiistorbo na kita. text you later ok lang ba?

G: sure. K. byebye.

B: uhm

G: yes?

B: wala hehehe u take care bye.

Tingin sa kawalan. buntong hininga. inom tubig . sabay wooohh!!! Mahabang ngiti. as in ‘gang tenga. Almost two months na na ganito. Happy? Definitely! Absolutely! Undeniably! So ano problem? I don’t know. Ahh! this cant be happening to me. I was supposed to meet mr. Right in the perfect , ideal place and time. It was all planned. Ahh! Di na to nakakatuwa. Magmaganda. man-deadma!

Gulat na lang ako nagtxt ka [sna d n lng kta nakilala.msy nmn ako nun e kht wla ka p.d 2lad ngayon, pnphirapan mo lng ako.lam ko d mo sdyang makilala ko,d ko dn nnm sdyang mhalin k eh] nagreply na ko. Check operator services. Wala pala ko load.

Joke lang. Wehehehe. [kung 22usin mgksma sna tayo ngayun, sbi nga nila lhat ng bgay pede pro d lhat ng pede dapat prang tau, pede pero d dapat.] send.

After that message wala na ko natanggap na kahit ano txt from you. Nabalitaan ko na lang sa friend mo na inintroduced sakin before may nililigawan ka na. Then I found myself sitting in front of a videoke machine.ayun nagwala, nagkakanta. timing naman may nagtxt na friend ko..[mnsan narinig mo ko kumaknta,tanong mo ko,kelan k p na22 kumanta? Sagot ako, nung na22 ako magmahal.cnabayan mo ko sabi ko sayo inlove ka din? Sagot k oo sa kanya tas iyak ako, tanong ka ulit, keln k p n22 umiyk? Sabi ko, nung n22 ko kumnta.] waaahh!sumunod nun mainit na patak ng luha sa mata ko. masakit pala.

But I had to move on. how? First, wala akong natandaang nasimulan natin para may matapos. One thing was certain, m missin those sweet nothings. I remembered that there were several times na nag-attempt ako na magtxt sayo kaso na-snatched naman fone ko hehehe

Kiddin aside, after almost a month nagtxt din ako [sbi mo lht ng story my ending,bat yung sa’tin wla? Lagi n lng gan2 paulit-ulit. Sma mo b ko s 22ong mundo mo o iwan n lng s wentong binuo mo] send. Pikit ako sabay pray. Sana Lord tablan. E nagreply ka [uy! Musta na? Long time no hear ah] [k lang…kayo? Ay ikaw pala?] [hahaha…ok lang kami.musta buhay?]

[uhmmm walang bago.] tas sumunod nun eto na reply mo [ang buhay daw prng biro, kung cno mhal mo sya ku2nin sayo.eh ang pgdting mo s buhay ko biro rin b? wag nmn sn kc pg ikaw p kinuha d n nkktawa.] Pu@YE#TA!!! Pinaglololoko ba ko nito? Kala ko ba ok lang sila? E bat ganito na naman banat nito? Di ko alam kung asar ako o excited sa text nya kaya inuto ko na din sarili ko…hala sige nagreply ang pasaway! [bt ang tao pag mahal mo iiwan ka, kpg iiwan mo mamahalin ka..pag minahal mo na sya lang tlg sya naman may mahl nang iba..skit no? tang-ina kasing pag-ibig yan nauso pa] Onga! T@#g-I*ang puso yan, bwi$3t na teknolohiya, asar ang nag imbento ng cellphones sama mo pa gumawa ng quotations. sa madaling salita badtrip ako kasi mahaba hair ko wahhh (naguluhan ka no? sakto lang yun) yoko na magpendot-pendot!

Isang araw..

Brrt brrt.capital ShIt!!! Leave me alone. E pano kung sya? Hmnmp! I then decided na magpalit na lang ng sim di pala smart decision ang mag-smart. kesa naman kainin ko pride ko tas itxt to [na2ginip ako knina,ung buhay pl natin nksulat s libro..kta ko libro mo tas may nagtanong sakin, kilala mo un? Sbi ko oo.sya pnaka magndang wento ng buhay ko]

Pero what for? ang gwapo naman nya. muntik ko pa nga to ma-send [ kahit uso ang giving up, I wont give you up.kht uso ang letting go, I wont let u go. I dnt care kung mwl ako sa uso ang mhlga wg kng mwala sa buhay ko] buti na lang lobat…di na send!

Ilang gabi din ako na parang tangang nagdadasal na sana ma-trace mo number ko kaso kulot na pala buhok ko(ano konek? Wehehehe)

hanggang..tanananan..

Bossing nagreply na yung katxt mo dali dali dali..sounds familiar?

2 messages received. New number? Uuuy!!!

[s bwat umaalis may dumarting. S bwat nagku2lang my pumupuno. Pero pano kung nahulog k n s dumating at bglng bumalik ang umalis? Cno pipiliin mo ung nagkulang o yung pumuno?]

[s twing nkikita ktang malungkot at nag-iisa gus2 kta lapitan,ykapin ng mahigpit at sabihing…nandito lang ako. Kso d ko mgwa kasi lam ko nmng d ako ang kelangan mo]

damn! Wrong send ba to? ____ ikaw ba yan?

Hehehehe.sino ka man, anu pa man, batman, superman, suman.isa lang sigurado..nangangamoy TXTMATE!

>>> revised walang wentang wento ni gurlie.

>>> hangkulet ng mga tagalog messages sa cellphone ko.bago burahin..ginawan ko muna kwento..may reklamo ka? See you in court..basketball tayo.


| "Pinky Steph" dream at 10:34 AM on Monday, June 05, 2006



yahoooo!!!!



Recurrence? what a word! after almost two years of being dormant in blogging, i found myself sitting in front of the computer. i don't know if this is a product of somnambulism. ohhh!!! i was just talking with teban over the phone a while ago. he then told me the news; he's working on activating his site again. there came the urge and scheme huh! then i went back to sleep. what's the word again? sleep? so is this kind of a dream? hehee...i'm getting cliche. let's make a wind back. it was july of 2004 when i engrossed myself in blogging. i never inferred to be enthralled with this kind of activity. i'm not a writer neither an essayist nor a poet. in short, i'm a heck nonsense and dim-witted. at first, i was reluctant to leave a message in blogger tagboards because of insecurities and fear of criticism. later on kinapalan ko na din mukha ko, after all my greatet aphorism in life is 'FACE YOUR FEARS' lol...then out of the blue, beyond my expectations, i have come up writing poems and even short stories. wag mo na tanong kung may sense e malinaw naman dim-witted nga ako wahahaha. what refrained me to prolong the hobby? come closer..i'll murmur..@3#$#&*3 @+"$# hehehe. it seems that teban's listening huh! the truth is tinamaan din ako ng "the magic is gone" syndrome. but, the friendship i had and found was never been set aside. i still visit my cyber-friens websites and even texting some of them until now. i will never forget you guys...never! God knows. i'm looking forward to an exciting journey with you again...yahoooo!!!

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 5:52 PM on Thursday, June 01, 2006



makapanindig balahibo'ng.....

isang madilim at malamig na umaga ng byernes...
habang daan papunta sa shed para maghintay ng shuttle...
isa'ng babae ang halos di makalakad ng tuwid dulot ng pinaghalo'ng takot at panginginig na dulot ng dampi ng hangin. takbo at lakad ang paulit-ulit na nagpalitan...buntong hininga at panandaliang pikit at malikot na galaw ng mga mata na naghahanap ng maaaring dahilan ng tensyong nararamdaman. wala'ng tao pero parang may mga mata'ng nakatingin at nakatago sa pagitan ng mga tahimik pa'ng bahay.

ang lima'ng minuto'ng daan na tinatahak upang makarating sa destinasyon ay nagmistulang mahabang daan sa gilid ng masukal na mga damo. maya-maya...ang takot na kanina'y halos ga-upos pa lang ng sigarilyo ay ngayo'y halos nagsiklab ng bundok ng basura.

mga papalapit na yabag...patakbo...nagmamadali...parang abot-kamay na panganib ang naghihintay. pawis at nanginginig ang katawang lumingon ang babae. isang lalaki'ng nakaitim ang tumambad sa kanyang paningin...nakahawak sa tyan ang lalaki...may kung ano'ng hawak.
napatigil sa paglakad ang babae. tinulos sa pagkakatayo, nakahawak sa dibdib at pikitmatang inantay ang pagtarak ng kung ano'ng bagay sa kanya. sa tapat nya'y ang tumigil na yabag ng lalaki. katahimikan ang sumunod na segundo...nagbukas ng mata ang babae. mukha ng lalaki ang ngayo'y nasa harapan nya...mukha ng lalaki'ng sobra-sobra ang pagtataka...parang nagsasabi'ng "ms. ano'ng problema mo? ano nangyayari sa'yo" sa taas ng kilay at sa ngiting nakarehistro sa kanyang mukha ay may mensaheng nang-uuyam. biglang parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig ang babae. sa pagitan ng pagkapahiya at biglang pag-alis ng takot ay ang mahinang tinig na nagsabi'ng " sori..."

sabay takbo'ng papunta sa ilang dipa na lang na shed. nagmamadali namang sumakay ng jeep ang lalaki. naiwa'ng tulala pa rin ang babae, di dahil sa takot kundi dahil sa pagkapahiya. ang dahilan marahil ng pagtakbo ng lalaki ay dahil sa huli na ito sa pupuntahan at kaya nakahawak sa tyan ay dahil nahuhulog na ang suot na maluwag na pants...huli na ng napansin yun ng babae, nakasakay na yung lalaki'ng pinag-isipan nya ng masama sa jeep.

ako po yung babae. buti na lang wala'ng lumabas na boses sa'kin dahil plano ko talaga'ng sumigaw. nakakatakot kasi yung pinanood namin nung nakaraang gabi kaya medyo paranoid pa'ko...kakahiya.

ang totoo...di yung kuwento yung makapanindig balahibo...yung kahihiyan....wihihihi...di na po uulit.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:59 PM on Sunday, January 09, 2005



New Year, New Life???

it is a wonder why many of us deem to begin a sudden change in our lives when the year starter knocks. though we decide to hold on to few principles and credences, partly, we tend to let go of some emotions and opportunities. but, surpassing all these is our willingness for a partial transformation. as noticed, permutation begins in improving our physical appearance. the famous 'new image' justifies that fashion and looks boost our self esteem, so it is necessary to give extra attention to it especially for those working and socializing for a fresher, admirable look that will surely be noticeable by persons you haven't seen for a long days of vacation. this will also cover up the evidently 'holiday weight gain'. proof of this are individuals bumping to be the first to sit in a salon for a stylish haircut, eyebrow threadings, hair colorings, rebonding, facial treatment etc. varied tv shows that promote new fashion tips from the 'in style' clothes, shoes, make-ups and color association boom in welcoming the new year. it is also a tradition to make alist ao the well known 'new years resolution'. ahhhh.... reality! 365 days had passed without me even realizing it.

let me look back to the past year... have i accomplished things i'm determined to change in the previous year? not all i guess. what difficulties refrained me from achieving them? do i have any regrets and acrimony in any decisions i've made? whatever! the mere fact that i get through it and still manage to hold on and stand up only denotes that i have passed those trials that God has given me. though it wasn't a perfect year, i've not been a succesful perfect woman in the true sense of the word, in myself, i know that i've tried to be the best that i can be and that would be enough. 2004 was considered the year of benediction for me and my family. a big thanks to Gog and a prayer for His endless guidance, understanding and blessing for this new year. kabooooommm 2005!

3 of 3's

top 3 blessings to be thankful for:
1) good health
2) financial prosperity ( for us living a simple life)
3) new friends

top 3 wishlist for 2005:
1) sincerity, understandin and acceptance of people around me
2) financial stability (covers a new house and an educational insurance for my two kids)
3) ixus digicam

top 3 new year's resolution:
1) i'll be more accessible to my children and loving husband
2) i'll spend my money wisely (promise!)
3) i'll promise not to take challenges and trials negatively (so help me God)


| "Pinky Steph" dream at 5:30 PM on Wednesday, January 05, 2005



-B R E A K-

Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
5 days of tiring workshop...
feedback reports...
documentation reports...
no blogging!

kit-kats pls....
i need a break!

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 1:00 PM on Friday, December 10, 2004



thanks God it's december

a month-long seclusion was over. i'm finally back to blog world. november was supposed to be the propitious month for a scorpion like me but it turned out to be so unfavorable. the past occurrence excruciates me, examines my strength & patience & even tests the stability of my married life. now, it's babuuhhh to bad omens...mwahahahaha.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 4:49 PM on Saturday, December 04, 2004



spectacular evening

10, 9, 8 , 7 , 6, 5....
countdown begins
BOOM...BOOM...BOOM...BOOM!!!!
vivacious lightning disseminates above
animated whistles liven the reticent night
picturesque firmament obliterates somber moment
dancing sparkles ang vivid full moon merge
startled faces appreciate the exquisite presentation
bringing lovers to romantical moments
putting innocents to their mystical world
sending solitaries to kind reception
leading flustered people to serene dimension
fireworks illuminates illusion
its beauty sever as from fallacious truth
astonishing minutes of complacency
peerless feelings of excitement
magnetizing my hands to clap
a reason to shout for joy
with goggling eyes ang opened mouth
with two thumbs up and a wooohhhh!!!!!

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 4:06 PM on Sunday, November 28, 2004



soulmate

as the dawn breaks its silence
roosters squawk with efficacies
as the day portends quest and challenges
morning denotes blessings and opportunities

in the midst of their cruise to nowhere
while their entities are crammed with felicity
the whinning of the wind coexist with stanch emotions
the rustling of leaves whisper inspiration

destined by fate, their path crossed
blank vision perceived visibilities
presence ignited their frigid heart
total strangers bounded by God

underneath the sun are two bumped souls
beyond stillness are communicating hearts
between deep sighs are tears of joy
beneath disparity is the power of love

before the dusk falls , they kissed
fubbled by the overflowing excitement
engaged to promises
blessed with LOVE

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:59 PM on Friday, November 26, 2004



sense the sensation

SMELL...
sense the scent of the dulcet roses
distinguish the one with venomous thorns
discern the fragrance of the morning zephyr
detect the one that forbode storm

LOOK...
observe how the rain penetrates my clothes
notice how my eyes are drenched by flooding tears
gaze how my body shivers from chill
scrutinize how my entity is shattered by dejection

LISTEN...
heed as the wind auscultates my sensibility
hear me as i sing the conciseness of my emotions
perceive as i utter the message of presentiment
attend as i shout the wretchedness of rejection

TASTE...
gratify the whims of inducing chocolates
it indicates the celerity of concordant relationship
experience the acerbity of bitter gourd
be aware of the morose truth of life

TOUCH...
lay a hand, save me from cringing
tap my shoulder, let me know you care
hug me, grope the warmth of my embraces
covey me, guide me to reality.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:49 PM on Wednesday, November 24, 2004



worn-out

i was passing across the obscured ocean
compelling myself in an ardous bay-walk
wearing my faded jeans and effete shoes
dissipated my leisure time searching for the right-man
putrefied by my disconsolate cliche
hackneyed between emanating and eluding

divest from involvement in an affinity
beguiled by my anguish heart
until i realized that it's hard to be alone
the avidity of having him alterde my credences
consoled myself that he'll be coming
and his [presence will fill the emptiness

gazing inside the oriel i found him sitting
unsure of my reflection but assured of my feelings
dubious with coincidence but emphatic with fate
only to actualize tha he was sitting next to someone
holding hands ignoring the bypassers
floating and drowning with laughters

equivocated by my over-flowing emotion
bereaved of attention and love
disdained by someone without him knowing it
caused damage to my frail heart
to feel ennui with longevity
i'm totally exhausted...i wanna DIE

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:32 PM on Monday, November 22, 2004



sweet time

silence.
eyes closed.
pellucid gleeful thoughts.
frolicsome, unforgettable sweet messages.
innumerable effort of showing thoughtfulness.
inexplicable coincidence of occurence.
indomitable true love.
beyond reallity.
dreaming.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:46 PM on Saturday, November 20, 2004



lakas-loob

rikisahin ang bawat himaymay ng pagbabalatkayo
pintigin ang tunog ng buntong-hininga
lusutan ang bagsik ng mapamuksa'ng pagkakataon
matauhan mula sa maantak na pagkakalugmok
upang kapagdaka'y sumigaw ng ubod-lakas

-tang-ina ba't kita minahal?-

sa maingay na lugar inakay ng kamangmangan
pinag-apaw ng nakalalasing na alak ang hapag-kainan
lutang sa ritmo ng pagmamahal ang pandinig
humahangos papalapit sa mapang-anyaya'ng entablado
doon ibubunyag at palalayain ang saloobin

-pagod na ang puso ko ng kahihintay sa'yo-

rahuyuin ng makapal na buga ng nakahihilo'ng usok
hanggang magpatangay sa salamangka ng pasaway na yosi
upang maya-maya pa'y makipagsabayan sa pagkaupos ng stik
nakiramay ang apoy ng sigarilyo sa nagsusumiklab na damdamin
sa pagitan ng bawat hithit, buga at lunok ay ang bulong

-bwiset! hindi ba pwede'ng lisanin mo na ang isipan ko?-

sa pagsalakay ng dilim tinalunton ko ang daan pauwi
sa sabwatan ng awitin, alak at yosi ako'y mapapasuko
nagmamakaawa'ng talusin ang talusaling na puso
at doon sa pagitan ng hikbi at pagbaliktad ng sikmura
umalingawngaw ang nakabibingi'ng pagsusumamo

_shigeehhh nahh, ishhang pagkhakataonh lhang at khauntinhg phanahonh-



| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:18 PM on Thursday, November 18, 2004



inaudible sentiment

illusive laughter
unreal effervescence
deceptive movements
perflex behavior
dissimulates solitude with pretention
conceals deficiency with contentment
witholds emotion from screaming
restrains oneself from involvement
that's insanity!
despondency denotes cowardice
dastards are unworthy of affection
so, speak out, be heard and be loved.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:08 PM on Tuesday, November 16, 2004



promises

bemused sensitivity
restrained from moving on
vexed betwixt thy image and promises
drowned by memories of rainfalls
held hands and bounded souls
filled with laughter in the rains
divulged emotions beyond silence
escaped from erronious world

until the storm subside
upto the time we were inlove
before the feelings wither
as season's change, the wind transmutes direction
as morning's brighten, your vision darkens
as sunrise denotes hopes, your promises fade

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:13 PM on Sunday, November 14, 2004



unattainable desire

dusk was falling
you were drenched by the rain
encumbered by grief
bewildered by emotions
annoyed by ironic circumstances
vexed by wary eyes of knavish world
i once saw you wept
watery eyes reflevted your pain
tears inscribed feelings of rejection
exposed vehement desire to be loved
longing for his warmth
languished for his touch
i want to protect you from sadness
and cover you with my embraces
but we are destined in different horizons
in the same place but in different direction
i can offer you rain to drift all your tears
but not your melancholic condition
i can offer you sunshine to lighten up your day
but not your bothered emotion
i can be with you forever
but we can't bew together
i am just an illusion
i am just a fancy sky


| "Pinky Steph" dream at 3:00 PM on Friday, November 12, 2004



sensations in the rain

sleepless nights
empty room
music playing
crying soul
weary mind
imperfect world
i think of you
analyzed things from where they've been
throwing back memories of yesterday
of our first meeting
of acceptance
of friendship
of indifference
of LOVE
you filled my lonely nights
with mellow music
my hungry soul
with vast emotions
my empty mind
with profound thoughts
my dull moments
with lasting excitement
my broken heart
with absolute tenderness
my inane existence
with denotation
you brought me to different dimensions
to fancies
to paradise
to heaven
unfolded me to possibilities
to opportunities
to chances
to happiness
introduced me to a different personality
the real me
the inner me
the best of me
now, i'm used of every sound because of you
like the dancing leaves that rustles
like the clacking of the window frame
like the whinnying of strong wind
like the splash of running water
like the crunching of tree branches
like the loud hollow of thunder
like the squeking of birds above
like the hymn of christmas carols in radio...
seasons come...seasons go...
connoting goodbyes
uttering farewells
to you my dear friend, my loving RAIN
your journey induced laughter
but parting proposed tears
i'll just see you in my dreams
in my music
in my mind
thanks for passing by
goodbye for now...
until next time.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 2:49 PM on Thursday, November 11, 2004



why do i love you

i love you because you're the daintiest,comely, good looking man i've ever known
i love you because you possessed the set of eyes with superb charm;
the pair of languid eyes that touches my soul and softens my heart.
i love you because you have the most kissable, sweet red lips that takes away my breath.
i love you because you're a good-natured person;
your benovelence corroborate your egregious characteristics.
i love you because you perseverely accepted my imperfection.
i love you because you imbued me abnegate my insecurities;
you abet me to discover my capabilities.
i love you because you urged me ameliorate my individuality.
i love you because you bring pleasure to my glum and inanimate world.
i love you because you made me realize that i'm very blessed to have you.
i love you because you loved me & that experience made me feel the existence.
i love you because you are "Y O U"...the love of my life.

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 2:38 PM on Wednesday, November 10, 2004



zenith of depression

my vision is blurred with sparkling tears
my mind is succumbed with farraginous thoughts
in grief with abstrused circumstances
in agony with self-reproach
betrayed by my specious emotion
distraught with lassitude

the period of my existence is a mess
it consist of anger, failure and retaliation
beneath insanity and durance
i am an egocentric philistine
i am a lonely, embittered woman
a trash

firmament insinuates renewal
scintillating stars denotes brightness
moon arises and proposes light to go along
but my cognizance misleads me
not in hoping but in surrendering
not with beginning but with extremity

| "Pinky Steph" dream at 2:27 PM on Saturday, November 06, 2004